HIP AND CRITICAL NEWS

2007: Hip Critic Secretarial Forum

2007-02-02T07:20:00.000-06:00

Interviews will be conducted for secretarial positions at Hip and Critical News. Please submit resumes by 1March2007.

Dogs: Insurance Companies Best Friend?

2007-01-30T06:49:00.000-06:00

Insurance, insurance, and more insurance. No big secret who runs shit these days; Insurance companies. I'd be prouder of a sister who was a prostitute on the Avenue than a brother who was an insurane agent. Ah, the art of picking your pocket through legislation. What a fucking (t)ripoff. North Kansas City is considering an ordinance that says ALL dogowners must have $100,000 liability insurance. I'm only jumping on the bandwagon because you know how I have love for dogs; being one myself.

I'd personally like to make it mandatory that all parents should have a $500,000 insurance policy for kids. They break windows. They break down fences. They shoot kids at schools. They throw shit at cars when people drive by. They loiter and discard trash everywhere; thereby lowering property values. Maybe its a good thing if everyone has $100,000 liability for dogs? I just think this would put pet ownership in the hands of the mostly wealthy. How about handicapped people? After all, the integrity and character of a great nation is measured by how we treat the less fortunate and disadvantaged classes of people. Many people (who are potential responsible dog owners) could afford a dog (or companion, as I like to call it) IF they were not disadvantaged by high insurance premiums.

This is NOT what our founding fathers had planned for our great nation. Maybe I'll move to Mexico. I am TOTALLY embarrassed to be an American. What a fucking sell-out our politicians are. We've created the very same government we claimed independence from.

Democrats 2007-08 Plan For America

2007-01-25T15:02:00.000-06:00

No plan is worse than a very poor plan (READ: Very Poor Plan=BushBashing). The Hip Critic predictions for the 2008 Presidential victor will be the following: Any Republican. Here's why. Democrats will continue throughout 07-08 Bush bashing (READ: In the absence of ANY plan for America). In the meantime, Bush will (READ: without the support of anyone) take care of this little deal in Iraq, somehow pull Bin Laden out of a cave somewhere, and totally surprise America with an illegal immigrant roundup unfathomable. This will restore faith in our current President, restore hope in the majority of American Citizens (with very little consideration for what those who are not think), and seal a victory for nearly anyone running Republican 2008. I'm out.

Amnesty for Pitbulls, Not Illegals.

2007-01-25T09:21:00.000-06:00

How dare someone try to ban pitbulls from a park illegal immigrants are welcome at. My dog is documented, nuts cropped, and he's here to stay. Unlike undocumented immigrants, Pitbulls are now welcome at parks in Johnson County.

Illegal Immigrant Assaults Federal Officer

2007-01-25T09:01:00.000-06:00

A Nicaraguan national was indicted by a federal grand jury today for illegally reentering the United States and for assaulting a federal law enforcement officer.

HIP CRITIC'S BABY MAMA AWARDS

2007-01-24T22:20:00.000-06:00

Your baby will never be the same after being born in Kansas City. The city got an "F" grade in areas like birthing options, safety and child care.

500 Block Bellefontaine Revisited

2007-01-24T22:08:00.000-06:00

2 more suspects were arrested for trespassing at 535 Bellefontaine around 9:00pm this evening. They allegedly kicked a door in to keep warm. they were detained a short time later without the suspects trying to run the cops over like yesterday. The suspects were also arrested for outstanding warrants.

311 and Noise Ordinances

2007-01-24T16:10:00.000-06:00

Even though I DO NOT believe it will help I've contacted 311 City Action and have made a formal complaint (READ: for 2nd or 3rd time) concerning the Indepepndence and Benton KFC and its lack of social responsibility towards the immediate residential area bordering its property. Quite simply, they refuse to observe ordinances and the city refuses to hold them accountable. The complaints are as follows:

(1) Deliveries during quiet time. (READ: Quiet time is the time protected by code for the rest of persons in the general vicinity). The deliveries are on Saturday a.m between 4-6am and Tuesday Mornings same time. Every week.

(2)Incredible Fucking Hissing Machine. (READ: Once weekly this machine hooks up to the side of the building and a big HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS screams out for like 15 minutes). I have no idea what this is although it wakes me up, usually on Wednesdays between 6-7 am.

(3) Drive thru speaker needs turned off during non-business hours. (READ: Every time a car drives thru KFC parking alot, approximately 20x during non-business hours the speaker blurts out "WELCOME TO KFC OUR HOURS ARE 10am-9pm" or whatever). It sounds like the SWAT team outside my house each time someone drives thru.

Thats all. Honestly, the calltaker said nothing would probably be done. I have a confirmation number and I plan to follow it thru. Basically, we have no times during evening hours after the business closes to have peaceful enjoyment. Never. At least 5 nights out of 7 we are totally at the mercy of KFC. Fuck KFC. Thats what I say.

6 Suspected Illegals Molest Teenagers

2007-01-24T15:39:00.000-06:00

One suspect has pleaded guilty and 5 others have been charged with having sex with three middle-school girls recently. The men are allegedly illegal mexican immigrants.

Northeast KC and Deliveries Before 7AM

2007-01-24T00:13:00.000-06:00

We all agree KFC on Independence Avenue needs chicken deliveries. We had a problem last summer and the asshole was back yesterday morning around 5 a.m. An ordinance exists stating that deliveries to commercial establishments bordering residential neighborhoods cannot be made before 7am. I calmly explained that religious beliefs prevented me from choking the shit out of him. He played stupid about the ordinance and said he'll do something different next time. See, we can all get along. Now, I just need to corner the guy from Deffenbaugh who picks up trash at 4 a.m. twice a week at 528 Benton and the weekly hissing machine at KFC early a.m. I can at least have one day of rest weekly if what this driver tells me is true. Small victories. I still think it would be easier if we lived in a city where the ordinances were enforced by those responsible to do such. Instead, they spend time writing shitty letters to people about chipping paint. When's the last time your sleep was interrupted by a falling paint chip? Or a torn screen? What a fucking joke.

Another Mexican Trafficking Meth

2007-01-24T00:07:00.000-06:00

An unsuspecting mexican drug dealer (probably illegal) delivered a pound of "ice" to an address where a suspect was being detained for a computer theft. Another mexican doing jobs Americans won't.

NE Kansas City: 500 Block Bellefontaine

2007-01-23T21:39:00.000-06:00

Officer nearly ran over by fleeing suspects after wrestling one crackhead to the ground. See video footage of chase across 4 counties. FYI: the murder suspect from 9th and Chestnut may be holed up inside this complex.

Poor People and Mark Forsythe

2007-01-20T09:36:00.000-06:00

Mark Forsythe made his intentions clear concerning monies for disadvantaged or at risk individuals in Kansas City. He even concocted a little Jeopardy skit to reflect his beliefs. In reality, Mark Forsythe fails to commit himself to plans which lend itself to funding for disadvantaged peoples in Kansas City. Claiming to be a numbers man Mr. Forsythe fails to address the actual percentage of Kansas City's fiscal budget (READ: Very low percentages) that reach the low income, homeless, and disadvantaged population in Kansas City. After being encouraged on his website to address the actual numbers in percentages he removed my post. He even goes so far as to say "they wanted me to tell them I would provide more funds for more police. More funds for indigent health care. Mo money, mo money, mo money! The problem is, I'm the finance guy". The real problem is you're insensitive to the current affairs affecting the majority of Kansas Citians, Mark. For real. I hope the poor people of Kansas City mob you on your campaign walk. If you're a numbers man, tell me how many fingers I'm holding up.

Killer Cults in Klansas City?

2007-01-20T02:38:00.000-06:00

Family Outraged About Two Deaths while city council remains quiet about more than a hundred last year.

For My Olive-Skinned Friends

2007-01-20T02:28:00.000-06:00

If your complexion is slightly beige with yellow undertones and you look good in warm colours like yellow, orange, olive green, and warm brown, chances are you have olive skin.

If You Haven't Done So Already!?

2007-01-19T18:46:00.000-06:00

Sec. 64-246. Removal of ice or snow.

It shall be the duty of all persons owning or occupying any real property, fronting upon any street, boulevard or highway, to remove from the sidewalks in front or alongside of such property all ice and snow within a reasonable time after cessation of a storm depositing such ice or snow. The provisions of chapter 62, article III, pertaining to littering, and penalties for violations thereof, shall be applicable to violations of this section.

Cross references: Littering, 62-81 et seq.

Tribute: Martin Luther King Jr.

2007-01-15T07:29:00.000-06:00

I often wonder what Martin would think of whats crackin' these days in the hood.

Northeast Mayoral Forum

2007-01-15T06:53:00.000-06:00

Late as always with the News: The Northeast Mayoral Forum on Thursday evening was a huge success, considering we're accustomed to seeing 2 or 3 people show up for events around here. We probably had around 200-300 people although I didn't actually count. I know we had 11 mayoral hopefuls sitting at the front of the room. Mostly full of crap. Funkhouser seemed the most intelligent although Stan Glazer receives the Hip Critic Public Speaking Award. He spoke clearly, legibly, and used words most people can understand. I thoroughly enjoyed Katheryn Shields' "we'll just take houses from people and give them to CDC's for redevelopment" response to urban blight. I attempted to link to her site although it is currently not available.

Alvin "I'm totally comfortable with the process" Brooks reminds me of the perfect reason Kansas Citians should NEVER consider electing a current member of council for Mayor. He stops just short of saying downtown IS Kansas City; everytime he speaks. No great mystery surrounds what Alvin would do if he were mayor (READ: Continue downtown revitalization to the demise of the entire rest of the city).

Identity Theft and CrimeKC

2007-01-11T07:37:00.000-06:00

A recent poster on TKC attributed some rude comments to the Hip and police were summoned (6-8) to my neighborhood looking for this "Jim" guy. After having realized they should be doing something else, PD accosted an african american male and tossed him into the van for transport while the subject was saying "I didn't do anything". Surely. Naw. I hope they weren't just picking on someone because they realized this case was friv-O-lous, especially when the comment was posted anonymously although had revealing information. I just wonder how PD can justify utilizing manpower to apprehend someone who didn't even make the comments while people are shot , robbed, or stabbed in Kansas City nearly every day. What a tragedy.

Breaking News: KCPD "Gone Wild"

2007-01-09T09:05:00.000-06:00

KCPD Seargent Jack Henry.......BUSTED for DUI! The only other addition to this story that could make it more interesting would be if he were stopped at a DUI CzeckPoint, while driving his Police cruiser home.

What is Urban Blight REALLY?

2007-01-09T01:37:00.000-06:00

Went to the neighborhood meeting last night. They discussed the "Urban Renewal Plan" and LISC stuff for Scarritt District via a translator (from binary code to simple english) from Planning and Zoning and some goofball looking dude from LISC (READ: what the hell was he there for?). Now I know how people feel when I talk endlessly about things nobody really cares about. This portion of the meeting obviously had nothing to do with me although I had a few questions to ask for clarification purposes. I'm still not certain they really know what blight is. It also sounds like this new TIF Aldi on the Paseo will sell more alcohol to the Northeast residents when they start pimpin' though.

Talked to the cops there. C-Star propoganda. They seemed nice but they had the "I feel your pain look" along with a "good luck". Sounds like Shoal Creek drained all the Divisions on this side of the River (no shit!). Gave a fairly accurate although sensored version of what really goes on here in the form of a neighborhood report. Put a jacket on a pair of juveniles for all the graffitti although quickly admitted there are probably others when questioned. It may satisfy the little old women and people who haven't left their houses in years. Those of us on the front lines (walking everyday around here) know better. The thefts are an indicator of deeper drug problems in the area by the way.

Witnessed another theft before the meeting tonight although when I told them to put the wood back, they did. Said they thought it was trash (READ; Brand new 2x4's). Found out where they drove to. Cops went by there. Big ass house. Probably full of all the items mined in recent copper thefts in Northeast Kansas City. Northeast corner of Gladstone and Thompson. Little white Toyota pickup (black topper shell) with North Carolina plates. Dumb and Dumber look- alikes. One male. One female. Went by there tonight and every light in the house was on. Looked like they were remodeling. Wierd people. I'll know for sure they're on meth when they board all the windows up because they scrapped the foil.

There was a very large crowd for a change although everyone wanted to make sure this plan wasn't raining on anyones parade and thats why they came. So, much emphasis was placed on property values and such as indicated by the questions from the Bed and Breakfast Groups of Northeast Klansas City. Old woman next to me kept nudging me with "whats section 8"? I still think more people would move here if they weren't bombarded by homeless people, robbed, solicited sex, or have their car stolen while it's warming up in the driveway. Never stood up and said it though. I'm really looking forward to this Thursday nights Northeast Mayoral Candidates Forum" at Melrose United Methodist Church on Windsor and Bales. Thank you Scarritt for bringing this to our area. I just hope people show up and not just throw rocks at their cars.

2007: The Hood Revisited

2007-01-08T14:26:00.000-06:00

12th Street Hood2Hood Video

My fans are the greatest in KC

2007-01-07T12:47:00.000-06:00

Dear Hip,

I was reading TKC and came across Sophia Wharton diddy I'd like to comment on. I would like to have 15 minutes with that girl if Tony could arrange it. I'd snap her thong back in place until she dropped it entirely, ran out to my Escalade on 22's, and started squealing like a pig. I think of her often and think of an old Juvenile song "back that ass up". My girl thinks I'm crazy for even reading this shit. She'd kill me if she knew what I was thinking right now. I can barely look her in the eye and I can no longer act like I'm watching the Chiefs'cuz the bitches toatally choked in Indy yesterday. I can hardly wait to see KCTV5's news anymore. I get up early to watch it, hoping to steal a glimpse of that beautiful broad, knowing full well she'd bust a gasket if ol' Richard gotta hold of her. She gets me harder than chinese arithmetic. Gotta go, my girls back from the store.

Sincerely,

Richard

NOW....SHUT UP!

2007-01-06T19:40:00.000-06:00

Chiefs suck.
The games over.
The Colts won.
The score was 23-8.

Northeast KC and "Urban Miners"

2007-01-06T10:29:00.000-06:00

I am so sick of people stealing copper around here. Last night I was talking on the phone with a Midtown couple (very good people) who are trying to purchase a house in the Scarritt District of Northeast Kansas City. After having viewed my blogsite, the wife contacted me via email encouraging me to expand on the "good" things about Northeast Kansas City. After calm, thoughtful reflection induced by sedation, I was able to compile a list of what is good about this particular neighborhood. You have to look very hard although good things do exist around here. Not the point of this post though.

As the conversation turned to their recent visit the wife (on speaker phone) stated that somebody had broken into the house and stole numerous items such as an irreplacable chandelier, motor from sauna, water meter(?), blah blah blah. Anyway, this was after having visited the last time and the AC unit was ripped from its location, dismantled, destroyed, and carted off for scrap (apparently). In and of themselves, these items are worthless. In short, they did several thousands of dollars worth of damage to cart off at moderate estimates, maybe $100.00 worth of scrap metal. Thats not even what pisses me off.

During this conversation I received a second call. The neighbor called me (because I guess they are tired of being talked down to by cops around here) and told me to hurry outside. While still speaking with the Midtown couple I ran downstairs to find a pair of suspects (no race indicators) who were quickly loading the AC unit from the Hispanic church at Indy and Benton into the trunk of a white 80's model Chrysler New Yorker with gold trim package. There were actually 4 suspects, 2 of which jumped into car and sped off, 2 of which tore off in opposite directions. Unfortunately, because we have no forms of enforcement around here (unless it's PD harassing my girlfriend leaving with no front plate on her vehicle from my house), the vehicle had no clear or visible tag number. The plate was there but was not legible. These asswipes used a cordless reciprocating saw to cut the steel cage from around the unit and then cut the unit itself from the building. The sad part is that they will only enjoy the profits of $25- 30 split four ways.

Anyway, the blessing in all of this was that the woman I was speaking to called the Police as soon as I hung up. Police arrived quickly. The only person the Police were able to track was the subject who fled on foot southbound Benton Blvd. He was sitting on the porch near 9th and Benton (big white dilapitated structure with boarded windows) smoking something. White car sitting outside minus the AC unit. Apparently, he pissed the cops off although they were not able to pin anything on him. Thank you for your efforts East Patrol.

In ending: if these people continue to steal in the immediate neighborhood surrounding my house they WILL get caught. We catch people around here. Not always. Enjoy your freedom while you can. Also, pray to God the Police catch you next time instead of one of those sweaty mexicans next summer. They were pissed too. I couldn't quite understand what they were saying today over there, but it didn't sound good.